Man: I just want to say, your benches outside aren't very good. The gaps between the planks are so big that my glass tipped over and I lost half my drink.
There is about half an inch gap between the planks.
Me: *not taking any shit* Oh! I'm so sorry about that.
I carry on with what I'm doing. A few minutes later.
Man: Are you going to do anything about the drink I lost?
Me: Sir, it's not my responsibility to refill your glass if you spill your drink.
Man: But your tables made it spill.
Me: I've never had any other complaints or heard of anyone else losing drink because of our tables.
Man: But...your tables.
Me: I'm not going to refill your pint motherfucker.
Ok, I didn't say motherfucker. But I wanted to.
Fuck you and your orange tshirt.
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